Happy April Fools!
CityNews – After weeks of hazardous air quality, Chiang Mai city officials have come across the perfect solution for safe breathing in Chiang Mai, a solution now being avidly promoted by authorities after breakthrough research at Suan Dek Hospital, Chiang Mai.
“I know it sounds silly,” one city representative admitted, “but we really do think this is the way. It’s easily accessible (anyone can do it), cost efficient, and here’s the thing: it really works!”
Citing research on the relationship between breathing and inhaling air pollutants, the committee for improving air is standing by their announcement. They are enlisting yogis around the city to run “Better Breathing” workshops to help residents increase their lung capacity and breath-holding ability.
The initial reaction among residents seem to be skepticism, though those who work in offices think it’s a possible short term solution. “It kind of makes sense…well, sort of,” Ploy, an office worker in Nimman, trails off.
The large population of outdoor and open air workers are invited to the breathing workshops as well. “We’re advocating for a ‘hold-run-breathe’ technique,” explained Haijai Orkmaikhao, organiser of ‘Better Breathing’. “Basically, you hold your breath for as long as you can while you work outside, then when you can’t stand it anymore, you run to the nearest Seven Eleven, breathe, and repeat!”
Literally every single person CityNews talked to who works outside declined to comment.
